~*~*~~ PREMIUM RUBBISH ~~*~*~*
the dumpsters of the world have been most generous this past year and in result of these plenteous pickings, this latest litter of yoplets has proliferated far beyond what my modest underground lair and drastically endangered fridge can possibly sustain. it is nigh time they rampage forth and find their own homes to torment.
below you will find the current line up of culprits. (and belower still for information on how to post bail!)
WARNING
slightly mauled sign that clearly failed to heed itself.
(yip yap)
(for a good time, don't call Okie. she's rather alarmist and keeps going on about underground conspiracies and I suspect she may actually be a robot.)
CAUTION
another admonishing piece of metal urging us to remain above ground.
made of solid bendproof metal. ideal for fellow inebriated scavengers who have a propensity to accidentally destroy everything they own.
POSTED3
more pointless pieces of aluminum with indecipherable text.
POSTED4
no idea what they are talking about.
probably not important.
nomnomnom
COYOTE LUCK
another close call.
ammo drop for scale
can also serve as extra sharp snowboard in sudden snowpocalype scenarios
VOTE YOTE
flea party yopaganda
exercise your rights
unfortunately we were unsuccessful in getting a coyote into office
all proceeds will go directly towards our 2024 election campaign. or dinner.
whichever comes first.
HAUNTED TILE
a chunk that accidentally fell off an old abandoned mining town
(clearly not coyote-proof)
cat safe. probably only mildly contaminated.
perfect for minimalistic kitchen renovations.
CARDBOARD1
large broken box
made of %100 pure broken trees
flammable.
copious ink dribble
alarmist ideas
infinite wine for scale
CARDBOARD2
another xtra large slab of hungry cardboard. slightly more then 2 reckless wines tall.
convenient facial bend transforms your art into a flawless decoy or leering spyote.
traumatize your neighbors! generate false eyewitness reports!
pre-installed hole to help hang right half.
fulfill the dream of owning your very own piece of cardboard today.
ENTER
welcome guests to your lair with this cozy little inviting plaque
EXIT
eject guests from your lair with this unsubtley larger escape route sign
/ ! \
mysterious envelope containing most likely incriminating forensic evidence.
not recommended for cats or any other species fatally susceptible to curiosity.
LONG YOP
tag me like of of your french yops~
easily seduced with a single, standard sized wine bottle
excuse me my eyes are up here
o hai there
ONWArd
One Way to rule them all, One Way to persuade them
One Way to lead them all; the other to evade them.
windfall from a local sign tree.
law enforcement for scale. not recommended for overseas animals, unless they are planning to invade coyote territory and enjoy smuggling large, heavy objects over international borders.
COYOTE CONTAINMENT UNIT
*activate box protocol beep boop*
magical transformation powers!!!
from 2d to 3d in a matter of seconds, no dorky glasses needed!
some mild battle damage from attempting to enclose coyotes
useless QR code that only leads to orange.broken code, leads only to orange.
typical box stuff.
perfect hiding spot for incriminating evidence, scandalous inventory, thin air or up to 15 wines.
JURASSIC BARK
exterior exoskeleton for feral Jeep TJs born in the jurassic park period between 1997 and 2006.
includes all relevant bits and bobs, one coyote, one clever girl and approximately 20 years of accumulated--carefully curated--archaeological dirt specimens.
our fearless hero
our clever girl
the bits
the bobs
in the off chance you are so preoccupied with whether you can bid that you didn't stop to think if you should--it would be extremely ill-advised to pursue this million-pounds old fossil unless you reside within the natural range of the wild American Wrangler (those residing beyond, please take a moment to envision a ravenous pack of velociyotes devouring your bank account, shaking you dying wallet within one penny of its life in order to satiate their monstrous shipping cost needs.)
GENERAL USE DOOR
ineffective door that fell off a ranger cabin
perfect for storing high voltage danger tubes.
made of coyote-resistant metal.
lacking coyote resistant lock.
free information included
very interesting
YOPPY DISK
coyote OS 3.11 installation disc 5 of 7
undoubtedly the same one you are missing
the end.
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WANT A THING?
going to adopt these quality rubbishes out via vickrey auction.
If you don't know what that is you can use google probably.
to partake, email me and tell me what thing(s) you want, and what your very max bid for it is. if your desire is to assert dominance over several auctions, but with some prioritized over others, let me know all your bidding preferences/nuances so I can suffer the web of complexity brought down upon myself for trying to rehome too many coyotes at once and finally (hopefully) learn to stagger their release in the future instead of all at once like some sort of explosive, coyote sporing mushroom. ;]]
auction will end on FRIDAY at 11:22 of the mountain clock time.
countdown timer for anyone as temporally impaired as the common yop:
https://www.timeanddate.com/countdown/halloween?iso=20211015T1122&p0=75&msg=coyote+loot&font=slab&csz=1
after this timer explodes on FRIDAY, I will email back whoever has the highest max bid, and sell it to them for the price of the second highest bid, and then and then after the bones are received, the premium rubbish item you won will travel to wherever you live to start its new life in your very own yoteabode!
minimum bid for all premium rubbish is 100 dollarbones!
coyote mail can go to: yipyapyopyote@gmail.com
thank you most fleafully for supporting the criminal arts <3
now go have a wine for scale.